Moving on.....

....letting it go and starting again this week ....slowly does it from an observers consciousness....plenty of self care to help buffer the exhausting effects of any drama....

self care includes:

Daily calming and grounding through some sacred practice like drawing a mandala, yoga or a mindful walk...my way of reconnecting to source.Work on cultivating a morning routine that might encourage more regular stretching and mindfulness. 

Venting and getting emotional space in my own way through perhaps,journaling,  creating part of artspread or walking briskly rather than mindfully to get things moving rather than festering in any non useful thought.Choosing who I might talk to and will listen and be grateful for any space they give me.

Sit with the emotion long enough to understand it acknowledge my needs others needs but be aware if the unpleasant impact on everyday functioning on dwelling on it too long it is not good for me to do this.

Be mindful of my physical health and that the ole ferratin levels are always very low..and take care of that thyriod....and body with lots of warm nutritious food home cooked one pots and nice baking made with love....a good 2 litres of fresh or warm water every day.

Lynne Forrest - Starting Gate Positions on Victim Triangle

Jack Savoretti Sweet hurt + Jack in a box

The Other Side of Love

I'm perusing you tube for some release of emotion!.......its a habit I'm not keen to return to but i thought id indulge myself this once in honour of Jack ! I really need to journal, write and art! not peruse but sometimes it's the beginning of a bit of release that start the ball rolling .......and our Jack well there's a tune for any mood or moment....I'm struggling with wholly accepting the human condition and my strong emotions as part of the human condition....Its the victim in me and others that really screws me up! now that's a journal page and a bit of poetry in the making.... at 50 yrs young I really recognize it and do not on most occasions react to it...but its been hard the last couple of weeks at work...good lord those dynamics aren't healthy but they are part of the human condition and need accepting!!!any way I'm up an off for a cold fresh walk and releasing all of that toxicity from my workplace ....

Arting and examining victim consciousness for the millionth time in my adulthood....

Autumn Butterfly......

Meandered through the park in my lunch break and sat down to breathe and soak up the season......the wind was carrying leaves in gusts and mini avalanches as I sat....the trees were all golden and the sun shone and there was a beautiful brown and red winged butterfly .....she could only be seen when the leaves settled as she didn't settle straight away but fluttered down onto a leaf lying on the floor.It  was only a moment before my attention flitted and I lost sight of her in the medley of leaves....but it was beautiful....The moment reminded me of how nice it is just to sit and be... and have the time to see something as beautiful in a quiet non active way....
This 50th year of mine has been amazing....I had the intention it would be a right of passage for me and did plan to experience an assortment of stuff....I am reminded I've been living at a pretty fast paced rate since my last blip and the amazing energy I've had....I ve achieved soo much and had such a lot of leave .... my cazzy soul feels healed but I don't want to forget what I'm learning on my journey.
-Being in better condition physically is essential for a sense of well being. Routines important to making it a part of every day life this includes strengthening mind and body through yoga and the aerobic zing from a little dance or run.
-Art is a fab way of loosing myself to flow time...so is yoga but my art is all mine and totally non judged and open to whatever I want to do.O.k I love making the odd thing for others but I love documenting my life with art and photos and processing difficult emotions with it ....Art + food + water = essentials of life.
-music is like a vitamin....the right type at the right time or just a dose at the right time is so mood boosting.. body energizing..and especially 'our Jack' as music that expresses a life journey or tells stories feeds my soul.
- work can be toxic...not those we support that feels like a working life with purpose...but the team dynamics, the deadlines and pace of change and uncertainty giving rise to all sorts of folks behaving in all sorts of ways! it can make me poorly emotionally and physically...and I must keep an eye on myself and practice self care.
-Adventures....at least one a year...although more this year... gives me a sense of confidence and a sense of acceptance of anything that comes my way. ..it also makes me aware of the patterns of behaviour I could do to change but also gives the option for just accepting them as shortcomings. ... (I've loads of those....).... hey little autumn butterfly thank you x

Faithless - Why Go? ft. Estelle ... yay for the 'don't walk dance' attitude...

GOT THAT FRIDAY FEELIN'....I love my long weekends

Always feeling very grateful for what I have but that's not to say I don't have to acknowledge that passing thoughts and feelings that challenge me aren't painful or potentially damaging to a here and now kind of optimism I'm holding onto...it's useful to reflect on it but not dwell on every thought and feeling ... The weekend is always welcome and I'm awash with energy after a little blip, an increase in thyroxine and iron and the boundless giddiness that comes from my 'don't walk dance' mind set at the moment ! Feeling as if I want to grab a hold of this time when energies run high bop my socks off walk in the sunshine....or the drizzle  ( we do get a lot of that!)
Things are going o.k. (I'm not dwelling on the not so o.k), mum's recovering, I've a round a week off work each month until November,and I've a birthday tea part planned for celebrating being 50.... Just a little redirection in regards to finding the calm in the highness needed! and reconnecting creatively and at kula as I miss them and being in the flow in a peaceful way....