Oh wow i've had such a great week off ..i've arted, chillaxed and loved and just had a fantastic time...
However, i also spent time reflecting on an experience, which has taken around a week to process and recover from ....On our outbound flight we sat behind 'a couple' they seemed just an ordinary couple and were just ordinary ...as our 4 hour journey progressed things deteriorated between the couple.. alcohol was involved but i would hasten a guess that their behaviour was probably quite normal for them...(i'm just acknowledging that what happenned is a 'real' and a part of everyday life for some folks ..for lots of folks but not minimising it)...we were sat very close and during the descent of plane their argument became quite physical...and even more verbally aggressive..he punched her leg a couple of times and grabbed her nose and started to shout about her being too drunk ... i missed a lot of what was actually being said as i plugged myself into my music player to cope as we were up in the sky and fastened into our seats for the descent... it was distressing cos ordinarily i probably would have handled it in 'some way' but i felt powerless...i could see her face she looked 'confused' almost 'little girl like' in her reaction to his hurting her... seeing and perceiving what was going on from this 'little girl perspective' was really distressing for me as i revisited once again a gush of emotions including the fear and frustration i felt as a child and early teen... and memories came back to me from my past.. I'm not going to go into too much detail as i was still 'present' as the '46 year old woman' and 'airline customer '...O.k what i wanted to do was press the call button but the air hostesses but my inner child was in 'protection mode' and the air hostesses had been passing by for the last part of the flight oblivious and didn't seem to see the situation build up! We had to sit through it! it felt really wrong ...only a few other passengers were expressing their alarm all dealing with it differently some likening the continued barage of abuse to something off the Jeremy Kyle show ......it didn't feel right i felt quite sick to my stomach.. from my fear came a degree of 'useful and measured anger' and i did verbally question airline policy and report it to the 'unassuming' air hostesses as we stepped off the plane after the couple. I had to do the same again on the inbound journey in a proactive way and a non judgmental way 'cos again they seemed a nice enough couple..Chel supported my needing to be proactive and he agreed it needed addressing as i think he could see me going into anxiety melt down when I saw them infront of us for the return journey! I deal with that sort of stuff in my work but it was different i didn't have any power as a 'person' as i was not in a 'professional role'. I did all i could hve done, it doesn't feellike enough but i'd waited after the outbound journey until i saw the woman away from the man and i tried to talk a little and encourage her to stay safe ...but i knew it was all a part of her life and almost probably for my benefit i did that ... It was my feelings and my actions i needed to reflect upon throughout the week .... these varied from my wanting to report it to the police to complaining to the airline ..just doing nothing was only ever a fleeting childlike thought considered for a moment and I knew would involve me having to contain my profound anxiety (which i do not do well as a maturer woman.... why is that!)...passing on the responsibility is not my thing..accepting the responsibility for everything is! I want to evolve enough to find the middle ground .....am i making more of this that i need to? probably but hey life is more beautiful when the journey is shared...............
Thankyou universe for all of life's experiences...but please can i not have that one again for a while.....
However, i also spent time reflecting on an experience, which has taken around a week to process and recover from ....On our outbound flight we sat behind 'a couple' they seemed just an ordinary couple and were just ordinary ...as our 4 hour journey progressed things deteriorated between the couple.. alcohol was involved but i would hasten a guess that their behaviour was probably quite normal for them...(i'm just acknowledging that what happenned is a 'real' and a part of everyday life for some folks ..for lots of folks but not minimising it)...we were sat very close and during the descent of plane their argument became quite physical...and even more verbally aggressive..he punched her leg a couple of times and grabbed her nose and started to shout about her being too drunk ... i missed a lot of what was actually being said as i plugged myself into my music player to cope as we were up in the sky and fastened into our seats for the descent... it was distressing cos ordinarily i probably would have handled it in 'some way' but i felt powerless...i could see her face she looked 'confused' almost 'little girl like' in her reaction to his hurting her... seeing and perceiving what was going on from this 'little girl perspective' was really distressing for me as i revisited once again a gush of emotions including the fear and frustration i felt as a child and early teen... and memories came back to me from my past.. I'm not going to go into too much detail as i was still 'present' as the '46 year old woman' and 'airline customer '...O.k what i wanted to do was press the call button but the air hostesses but my inner child was in 'protection mode' and the air hostesses had been passing by for the last part of the flight oblivious and didn't seem to see the situation build up! We had to sit through it! it felt really wrong ...only a few other passengers were expressing their alarm all dealing with it differently some likening the continued barage of abuse to something off the Jeremy Kyle show ......it didn't feel right i felt quite sick to my stomach.. from my fear came a degree of 'useful and measured anger' and i did verbally question airline policy and report it to the 'unassuming' air hostesses as we stepped off the plane after the couple. I had to do the same again on the inbound journey in a proactive way and a non judgmental way 'cos again they seemed a nice enough couple..Chel supported my needing to be proactive and he agreed it needed addressing as i think he could see me going into anxiety melt down when I saw them infront of us for the return journey! I deal with that sort of stuff in my work but it was different i didn't have any power as a 'person' as i was not in a 'professional role'. I did all i could hve done, it doesn't feellike enough but i'd waited after the outbound journey until i saw the woman away from the man and i tried to talk a little and encourage her to stay safe ...but i knew it was all a part of her life and almost probably for my benefit i did that ... It was my feelings and my actions i needed to reflect upon throughout the week .... these varied from my wanting to report it to the police to complaining to the airline ..just doing nothing was only ever a fleeting childlike thought considered for a moment and I knew would involve me having to contain my profound anxiety (which i do not do well as a maturer woman.... why is that!)...passing on the responsibility is not my thing..accepting the responsibility for everything is! I want to evolve enough to find the middle ground .....am i making more of this that i need to? probably but hey life is more beautiful when the journey is shared...............
Thankyou universe for all of life's experiences...but please can i not have that one again for a while.....
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