Reflections, Reflections...and were I'm at..

I'm full of joy and pulsing with what I believe is creative energy that just needs channeling a little...and I need to be aware of balancing the energy a little as it soars....I've albums to finish and one to start for a good friend and I know I'll enjoy creating these but before I 'get industrious' I wanted to blog some of my ponderings.... I was torn between list making and blogging and this won so god knows what there'll be on the table for tea amongst the piles of craft papers and stamps ! First of all there's an amazing 'tingle' of fire energy from our recent trip to Portugal...it was great on such a lot of levels...it was 'culturally uplifting' to see so many different nationalities especially the blend of African, Brazilian, Portugese and  Europeannes and I'm not knowledgeable about the roots or issues around this but I can tell you the energy was great and the sort of blending in and relaxing acceptance I crave.......Chel felt it tooooo so back we must go ...

Our wedding anniversary was so gorgeous ... and I was reminded of the passion that started our time together alongside the deep beauty and security I feel comes out of our 'mutuality' that has been nurtured over our 26 plus years and journey together .... a mature resilient love that Chella demonstrates to me on such a regular basis.... but did so particularly on holiday he is a deep part of me that I will never loose because he lives in my heart and soul.... and then the surprises of his boyishness and spontaneous thoughtful actions alongside his quirky and endearing ways.....and I know I reciprocate that mature love unconditionally.... this love is central to our earthly RESILIENCE and is the greatest life gift ever..... to give and receive soo unconditionally is 'the journey' I believe and  I thank the universe every day for my sharing my life with him.

I have a whole week off to devote to my creativity and a few other worldly duties ....lots of annual leave from July to September suits me .. and it creates an amazing vibe ...

When I return I will be happy with where I'm at and get the headspace that helps me to stay emotionally well.....I'm grateful I am working ...and who knows what is around the corner for both of us work wise as there are threats of more cut backs.All I can plan for is early retirement not as a luxury but as needed in order to preserve what is left of myself ....its difficult to try to change yourself sooo much .... it seems to involve fettering so much that is a big part of your personality and it can be really emotionally hard....work life could be perceived as requesting you 'care a little less' and 'do a little less for those in need'.and feel pressured .. but its contentious and only something I choose to perceive as being the case ..... my naivety, conditioning and hardwiring is constantly challenged and such a lot of learning comes from that....but I will continue to survive these next 4-5 years within what is left of the 'caring profession' and accept its transformation... I will focus of learning more about self care than ever before... I love my family and friends I love my life I want to fall in love with simplicity so as I can continue to build resilience and be creative and most importantly be happy and stay healthy...these are my goals for the next 9 months until the adventure season start again next year ....so as autumn is on the horizon I take stock and express gratitude for all this loveliness in my life and send my love right out there into the good ole universe knowing it will send it back when it time to do soooooo .....