A few weeks ago I started this post it saved but didn't post : "I'm sat in bed with 2 'rounds' of cut loaf wholemeal toast soaked in butter feeling comforted by the memory of my 'granpa G' .... and I'm mindful of a) the fact that this health pattern is so much a part of my life b) the there's overwhelming evidence that my emotional and physical health are the same thing ...of course we all know that c) that when sad comes just stay with sad it's o.k. .....d) you don't have to deal with all the thoughts just pop a filter on for today...
Always in a rush to try to distract myself from my feelings but sitting with sad today and physical virus...yes it can feel pretty overwhelming..So I'm a bit poorly but it isn't terminal ( and if it were I know I've had such an amazing few months I think I'd die a happy woman...but I'm pretty sure it isnt and I'm very grateful for that😀 ...really really grateful as I've seen so much loss,sadness and life limitedness it isn't something I want to make light of😑)...anyway its a bit lonely sometimes or feels that way but I think that's what sadness does it kinda makes you want and need to withdraw and although I'm in bed I'm not staying there because part of my self care along with rest and taking time is that I have to go out and breathe some air and look at the sky...."
.....sooo finished art and drew tears galore....I felt sad... I read Fernando Pessoa...and started Britt Marie and indulged in the cranky old lady that had built walls and behaviour to protect herself from the deepest if griefs .I wrote poems about tears but don't think I cried a lot just felt a little watery....
No comments:
Post a Comment