creating art journal pages with kat's torso n arm tutorials

practicing torso's n arms........will bring these pages to life with colour on my next days off   .....ive not drawn figures for quite a while ...it was nice playing with these....

2.18 a.m precisely......

a quiet moment with a warm milk....n 'trouble sleeping' this is only my second night of not being able to sleep this week n thats good going......tonight the wooshes of adrenaline and anxiety needed a warm milk n a little blogging....ive two accounts of my feelings check in today one check in was full of happiness as id had an inspiring day yesterday.....but today im responsible for saying how i felt at an inappropriate time.....i want to forgive myself as id had no lunch n was harried but happy so  a little oblivious until reflecting on it after work....i blurted out something without thought....i am trying to use a little thought scanning n it has helped this week but im wracked with awful negative thoughts n i cannot beat the physiological fight or flight symptoms tonight ......but ive had a lovely evening im soooo convinced this is hormonal as well as stress related! time to read n attempt to drop off again...... come on cazzy just let it go xxx

toooo tired to art it.......

feelings check in intense today....have nice picture in my head of a cloud with initial feelings in of 'fearful,afraid,alarmed and despairing'to  big raindrops with 'disaffected,suspicious, alone,sensitive,surprised,relieved,thankful in' with my 'needs' watering can collecting some of the raindrops which had the needs in for reassurance, honesty,emotional safety,understanding\contrubution and community.....thanks to a couple of lovely folks independant actions some of those needs were in part met and i can water the very dry garden of my wee soul a little so the seeds of interdependance might start to bed in... this was real hard today its always a headache of a day and id like to art it out.....journal page prepped ....

Reflections on Unmet Needs and NVC

Ive been progressing slowly on my NVC journey  a 'feelings check in' that I do at least twice a week is enabling me let go of some of those feelings (which if dwelt on can become quite debilitating coupled with the sleepless nights and long days at work...not a good recipe for the ole body n soul). The check ins have enable some real progress in exploring and identifying the unmet needs underlying those strong emotions and next on the agenda is, what I'm calling, some 'momentary thought scanning' its one of my intentions for the next week or so as I start to explore language and perceptions around 'requests' (and percieved demands)....all good stuff alongside revisiting the workbook pages around taking responsibility for my feelings is home work whilst I practice chapter 6....
A Cazzy cocktail of feelings on a working day are overwhelmed, anxious and harried vs calm,comfortable and sensitive! on a day off calm, comfortable, enthusiastic, engaged,creative,productive, and positive are in full flow even if having to deal with difficult stuff! ....its reassuring I can still feel these positive feelings...There is something i need to change about that work environment and I'm working on it...  There's been some movement in the right direction but I still feel uncomfortable about how I present myself in order to get the support I need...in seafaring terms I don't like tooting on the emergency whistle but it is a lot better than my past puncture repairs on the ole buoyancy aid and my head can stay above water...I'm still treading water but  I can see the shoreline and sometimes just having it in sight is enough....

finished albums

really pleased with these smashin little creations......just front covers to embellish.

nvc inspired journalling

i have been focused around chapter 4 of the nvc language for life for sometime now and identifying feelings and then moving onto needs is journal fodder at its best....here is the beginnjng of my spread inspired by this.Whilst doing this i found myself reflecting on a difference of opinion my mum n i had a long time ago....she lovingly put me up on the pedestal of being totally independant in my late teens ... i think it was her goal to send me out into the world as an 'independant woman' and i can remember then expressing my heart felt need for interdependance and realising that total independance did not make me happy..it has become balanced through the years and i have a beautiful small circle of interdependant relationships in my precious life.. where these interdependant needs are reciprocally met with love ....thankyou you lovely people xxx

oh where to start....

The weekend is here .....phew...so nice i have a host of projects n ideas bounding through my creative mind but have settled on an ecclectic mix of activites focused around 'completion'.. am looking forward to the satisfaction i will get from that...i had a week of non completion at work ...u know u start ur day with the goal of  completing on something n then find u r the one having to catch a few of the teams juggling balls as they fall... i dont mind doing that .......but next week i will have to set some boundaries to get those personal deadlines completed ...so to get me in the mood im completing a couple of portraits inspired by kat mcbrides workshops and also adding to my next set of little treasures albums.....yay for a little calm completion ....