Lynne Forrest - Starting Gate Positions on Victim Triangle

Jack Savoretti Sweet hurt + Jack in a box

The Other Side of Love

I'm perusing you tube for some release of emotion!.......its a habit I'm not keen to return to but i thought id indulge myself this once in honour of Jack ! I really need to journal, write and art! not peruse but sometimes it's the beginning of a bit of release that start the ball rolling .......and our Jack well there's a tune for any mood or moment....I'm struggling with wholly accepting the human condition and my strong emotions as part of the human condition....Its the victim in me and others that really screws me up! now that's a journal page and a bit of poetry in the making.... at 50 yrs young I really recognize it and do not on most occasions react to it...but its been hard the last couple of weeks at work...good lord those dynamics aren't healthy but they are part of the human condition and need accepting!!!any way I'm up an off for a cold fresh walk and releasing all of that toxicity from my workplace ....

Arting and examining victim consciousness for the millionth time in my adulthood....

Autumn Butterfly......

Meandered through the park in my lunch break and sat down to breathe and soak up the season......the wind was carrying leaves in gusts and mini avalanches as I sat....the trees were all golden and the sun shone and there was a beautiful brown and red winged butterfly .....she could only be seen when the leaves settled as she didn't settle straight away but fluttered down onto a leaf lying on the floor.It  was only a moment before my attention flitted and I lost sight of her in the medley of leaves....but it was beautiful....The moment reminded me of how nice it is just to sit and be... and have the time to see something as beautiful in a quiet non active way....
This 50th year of mine has been amazing....I had the intention it would be a right of passage for me and did plan to experience an assortment of stuff....I am reminded I've been living at a pretty fast paced rate since my last blip and the amazing energy I've had....I ve achieved soo much and had such a lot of leave .... my cazzy soul feels healed but I don't want to forget what I'm learning on my journey.
-Being in better condition physically is essential for a sense of well being. Routines important to making it a part of every day life this includes strengthening mind and body through yoga and the aerobic zing from a little dance or run.
-Art is a fab way of loosing myself to flow time...so is yoga but my art is all mine and totally non judged and open to whatever I want to do.O.k I love making the odd thing for others but I love documenting my life with art and photos and processing difficult emotions with it ....Art + food + water = essentials of life.
-music is like a vitamin....the right type at the right time or just a dose at the right time is so mood boosting.. body energizing..and especially 'our Jack' as music that expresses a life journey or tells stories feeds my soul.
- work can be toxic...not those we support that feels like a working life with purpose...but the team dynamics, the deadlines and pace of change and uncertainty giving rise to all sorts of folks behaving in all sorts of ways! it can make me poorly emotionally and physically...and I must keep an eye on myself and practice self care.
-Adventures....at least one a year...although more this year... gives me a sense of confidence and a sense of acceptance of anything that comes my way. ..it also makes me aware of the patterns of behaviour I could do to change but also gives the option for just accepting them as shortcomings. ... (I've loads of those....).... hey little autumn butterfly thank you x

Faithless - Why Go? ft. Estelle ... yay for the 'don't walk dance' attitude...

GOT THAT FRIDAY FEELIN'....I love my long weekends

Always feeling very grateful for what I have but that's not to say I don't have to acknowledge that passing thoughts and feelings that challenge me aren't painful or potentially damaging to a here and now kind of optimism I'm holding onto...it's useful to reflect on it but not dwell on every thought and feeling ... The weekend is always welcome and I'm awash with energy after a little blip, an increase in thyroxine and iron and the boundless giddiness that comes from my 'don't walk dance' mind set at the moment ! Feeling as if I want to grab a hold of this time when energies run high bop my socks off walk in the sunshine....or the drizzle  ( we do get a lot of that!)
Things are going o.k. (I'm not dwelling on the not so o.k), mum's recovering, I've a round a week off work each month until November,and I've a birthday tea part planned for celebrating being 50.... Just a little redirection in regards to finding the calm in the highness needed! and reconnecting creatively and at kula as I miss them and being in the flow in a peaceful way....

Longtime no post.....

I am too grateful to allow negativity or anxiety to creep in at the moment.... grateful for my life, a renewal of energy (thanks to a little ferrous and a short course of treatment that seemed to polish off some 'malingering thingy') and my lovely family and buddies..I'm sleeping over at mums tonight as she's the one we are focusing our thoughts on and around....it's just the prep tomoz but I imagine she's a bit unnerved well I can feel it but no drama about my stuff, in relation to her stuff,as my energy needs to focus in a positive way towards her healing and recovery the week after next.My critical self says "take those rose tinted spectacles off gal" (and a few other selfdepricating things) "start to worry" , "you should be anxious" "what if ...." but I know thats not a useful mindset. I wanna put it out there and ask the universe to take good care of her when she has this next procedure cos that's all that really matters right now....I can say it in my head a zillion times but to blog it gives the vibe some momentum.......
I love,unconditionally, that amaze balls mother of mine that brought me into this world, that weathered,with us and often on behalf of us, bumpy and downright rotten times and ultimatley after all that instilled hope and a sense of magic so deep in my soul that whenever the shit hits the fan if I dig deep I find it. Her "open your heart" guidance and poetry rings around in my head.. the specifics of which are stashed away in corners of my memory and on memorabilia that has helped me gather a strength and a sense of self esteem that has been my saviour over the years..and her stoic Yorkshire grit well its still something I feel I can only aspire too ... so I'm staying focused on my mum and know her guardian angel is watching over her taking care of her every step of the way.....and I'll be there too ... I am quietening this mind so there's only space for calm,peaceful n loving thoughts in my head...... love you mum and trusting the universe , oh and the medical staff of course night night sleep tight....xxxxx