Monday, 29 August 2016
July to August is a celebratory and energetic time for us.....never a dull moment but finding some balance and being sooooo grateful for this amazing time is a must.... and I continue to have serendipitous moments splashed in amongst the bedlam that is life that reminds my heart and mind that all of this is transitory ☺....a lot of my art and journalling have been about the non permanence of things and the fluctuation of emotions and the thoughts that go with this.In amongst the amazingness of life I still find myself experiencing emotional suffering which I feel ashamed to highlight! especially since there's such a lot of what I see as 'serious' suffering in this world... I have all my basic and material needs met and Im so conscious many do not have this and I ponder on it sooooo much.... and yet the waves of anxiety and the eb and flow of emotions and 'stuff' i recognize as being part of my hardwiring due to life and childhood experiences go on...it's kinda a beautiful more vivid at some times and less noticeable at others .. interestingly confusing 😯☺.... I feel ashamed of what I perceive as potentially 'envious and greedy' longings but they are a serious reminder of how I'm conditioned my western up bringing from a relatively poor working class background on this small Island that has seen us gradually make good through the twentieth century has created a strange way of thinking.... but I do seek to challenge my thoughts and find some peace with this on top of moving forward from recognizing unhelpful behaviours of distracting myself from my distress and anxiety ....an interesting place to be at me thinks........attachment is talked and written about as the source of all suffering and the striving to relinquish it all a source toooo .....confusing eh? But hey in the moment acceptance of it all as it as transitory with a few deep breaths is as useful a strategy as any right now.....Thank you universe for my sweet life I'm eternally grateful.