Sunday, 30 June 2013
Saturday, 29 June 2013
Thursday, 27 June 2013
Had a better few days.......the wonders of acupuncture, being able to breathe between jobs and sleeeep... I slept like a baby last night yaaay... I am days off now and sooo grateful ....been scootin around listening to Jack Savoretti unplugged in the car this week (as well as a little Ladies of the Canyon...thankyou Joni M !).Both my boyz are out and I'm floating around you tube listening to nice vibes aww this is just lovely..good ole you tube xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sunday, 23 June 2013
.....a wonderfully slow weekend....spent time with mel scootin him around chatting n just being with him soooooo nice mum n son time....i baked to share and attended a restorative womens yoga session which was so soothing n healing thankyou universe i am sooo grateful...the good energy n relaxation is slaying those demons .....i release all thought patterns that are not of use to me ..... and replace them with love xxxxx
practicing torso's n arms........will bring these pages to life with colour on my next days off .....ive not drawn figures for quite a while ...it was nice playing with these....
Friday, 21 June 2013
a quiet moment with a warm milk....n 'trouble sleeping' this is only my second night of not being able to sleep this week n thats good going......tonight the wooshes of adrenaline and anxiety needed a warm milk n a little blogging....ive two accounts of my feelings check in today one check in was full of happiness as id had an inspiring day yesterday.....but today im responsible for saying how i felt at an inappropriate time.....i want to forgive myself as id had no lunch n was harried but happy so a little oblivious until reflecting on it after work....i blurted out something without thought....i am trying to use a little thought scanning n it has helped this week but im wracked with awful negative thoughts n i cannot beat the physiological fight or flight symptoms tonight ......but ive had a lovely evening im soooo convinced this is hormonal as well as stress related! time to read n attempt to drop off again...... come on cazzy just let it go xxx
Wednesday, 19 June 2013
feelings check in intense today....have nice picture in my head of a cloud with initial feelings in of 'fearful,afraid,alarmed and despairing'to big raindrops with 'disaffected,suspicious, alone,sensitive,surprised,relieved,thankful in' with my 'needs' watering can collecting some of the raindrops which had the needs in for reassurance, honesty,emotional safety,understanding\contrubution and community.....thanks to a couple of lovely folks independant actions some of those needs were in part met and i can water the very dry garden of my wee soul a little so the seeds of interdependance might start to bed in... this was real hard today its always a headache of a day and id like to art it out.....journal page prepped ....
Monday, 17 June 2013
Ive been progressing slowly on my NVC journey a 'feelings check in' that I do at least twice a week is enabling me let go of some of those feelings (which if dwelt on can become quite debilitating coupled with the sleepless nights and long days at work...not a good recipe for the ole body n soul). The check ins have enable some real progress in exploring and identifying the unmet needs underlying those strong emotions and next on the agenda is, what I'm calling, some 'momentary thought scanning' its one of my intentions for the next week or so as I start to explore language and perceptions around 'requests' (and percieved demands)....all good stuff alongside revisiting the workbook pages around taking responsibility for my feelings is home work whilst I practice chapter 6....
A Cazzy cocktail of feelings on a working day are overwhelmed, anxious and harried vs calm,comfortable and sensitive! on a day off calm, comfortable, enthusiastic, engaged,creative,productive, and positive are in full flow even if having to deal with difficult stuff! ....its reassuring I can still feel these positive feelings...There is something i need to change about that work environment and I'm working on it... There's been some movement in the right direction but I still feel uncomfortable about how I present myself in order to get the support I need...in seafaring terms I don't like tooting on the emergency whistle but it is a lot better than my past puncture repairs on the ole buoyancy aid and my head can stay above water...I'm still treading water but I can see the shoreline and sometimes just having it in sight is enough....