Wednesday, 27 July 2011

...more thoughts for EOAJ Water week

FREEDOM .............. this is what comes to mind as a result of my sitting with the feelings I have.In the first instance i think i just wish to be free of all the thinking..the tense head and tiredness! hey some days are good somedays less good.However, I know it's because things have got to change...things really have got to change and they will...............

I sat last night and free wrote on my journal pages and the feelings found there way onto the pages in the form of words like...
FEAR of so many things........these could potentially could rule my life but i usually manage this feeling well nowadays.. That's o.k I recognize that and have done for many years and i'm pleased with the way i've evolved ..with a lot of work can i say.. to 'feel the fear and do it anyway'...i was well conditioned and also had a few experiences as a child and young woman that potentially reinforces my FEAR.

FRUSTRATION with my limits rather than other people's.Expressing myself verbally is potentially a real challenge in certain situations...I am surrounded by some very strong personalities and it's hard to feel as I am heard.I just have to accept and acknowledge I am responsible for being heard if i really need to be.

GRATITUDE for my life is the other big feeling.I have this life and I have a small circle of people who love me and really know me, i'm blessed to have had a child, to be a mother and to have a home and employment that earns me a living.

DESIRE to change some things in my life coupled with the FRUSTRATION of perhaps not quite being sure of how to do that....(boy i need fire ! to fuel that DESIRE but it is a feeling i've had in the past and i've made things happen... how did i get this far without that ...)

It's soo important, just as Effy says, to think of the positive personal qualities we have when completing our exercise for water week..everyone has these qualities...they're often very individual and can be the simplest unseen things ... I want to acknowledge that ever since i was a wee girl i had the amazing abilty to create and imagine stuff.....esecially to transform negativity into positivity...o.k as a grown up that ability has evolved and has been challenged but do you know it is something about me that persists! It doesn't mean i'm always happy, and some people do not understand me and they don't like it ... it does take energy and time and reflection and 'imagination' most times but it's how i want to live my life...i feel meloncholy,sad,hurt, envious and angry, but there's this warmth inside somewhere deep inside that generates 'something' that stops those difficult feelings being bigger than i am is my friend and I am sooo grateful to it....I am sooo grateful to MY ABILITY TO TRANSFORM MY OWN NEGATIVITY INTO POSITIVITY....
gotta start shining.....

Monday, 25 July 2011

EOAJ Water week

I am a sitting with the 'deeper flow of emotion' right now in relation to my thoughts for water week.I revisit these feelings eyes have watery glaze and my face and temples ache.. tired with all the thought and energy this takes... some down time is needed.I want to light a candle and relax in a lavender scented room with a snuggle blanket listening to some deeply relaxing music....i'm a little at sea and need to find myself a rope or life jacket!......... tapping into some universal love is what i need to do right now and I know there's an abundant supply out there it's just about quietening those 'fast running waters'and fitting myself with a suitable bouyancy aid ..i can see it reflecting off the waters surface i just need to 'doggy paddle' over and feel it...xxxxx

'Love is the only thing that is 'really' real'

Thursday, 21 July 2011

EOAJ Air Week

This weeks art journalling feels as if it has really 'got things moving' for me.I now have a copy of Deborah Lipps,The Way of's a revelation! going that bit deeper into to understanding the elements and how they relate to my personality and some of the issues in my life is pretty breath taking.The week has been one of serendipitous happennings... in relation to my journey with the elements this was exploring the fifth Chakra (throat Chakra) which i've still to finish an art journalling page on...It was a powerful realisation that this chakra is of major significance to me and my attention to balancing it a really important part of my journey.I made an error with my heat gun in my art journalling that resulted in the and the 'breathe' page and 'throat Chakra' page becoming stuck together...result was i had a deep space in the nasal passage of the drawing in my first page and what i call an 'exploding chakra' on the next page!! ..sounds a little off beat i know but thats how i saw it! and i perceived it with a little magical thinking as usual(the 'harmless Cazzy' sort of magical thinking)and it affirmed where i was at with this journey. I then found myself with a copy 'Spell book' by Deborah Lipp as well as the one we are using to explore the elements...that seemed to have significance as well and real food for thought.Exploring my elemental balance it was no surprise to me, and probably everyone who knows me, that my strongest element is 'water' followed by a small and even score of'earth' and 'air' with a weakness in 'fire'.
Pheww what a week of mindful thought and contemplation quite exhausting emotionally but stimulating to my enquiring mind.

Love to you Effy more gratitude vibing your wayxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Wednesday, 13 July 2011

Tao of Motherhood

Two of my favourites from Vimala Mclure's Tao of Motherhood


Tao is the oneness of all things.
You and your child come from One and journey toward One.
You are essentially the same.
Right mothering springs from this knowledge: the One in either responds to the One in both.
The bond is oneness, and cannot be broken.
When doubt and uncertainty arise,return to this simple truth.
Be in oneness, and the illusion of separateness dies.
Be still and allow unity to be revealed

Like the eternal Tao, a wise mothergives birth but does not possess.
She meets the child’s needs yet requires no gratitude.
Observe how great masters raise up their dearest disciples.
Observe how nature raises up the plants and animals.
Great teachers take no credit for their students’ growth,
yet they will go to any length to teach them what they need to know.
Nature requires no praise, yet it provides for the needsof earth’s inhabitants.
Mother is the reflective principle,the balancing agent for the child.
Like a guru, she allows the child to make mistakes and loves the child without condition.
Like nature, she allows consequences to unfoldand balance to be restored when it is lost.
She intervenes only when the right use of power is required.

TEOAJ Earth Week 1

Mmmm I like the feel of the earth under my feet and the colours of nature....and as I lay on the ground listening to some drumming at a local family festival ...feeling the sun on my face and the deep cool earth beneath my back I felt a gorgeous desire to simply melt into the earth initial thoughts in respect of these feelings and the clustering from orientation week made me think of the statements 'I am the ground', 'I am at one with the earth' .However, with deeper reflection on the relationship I have had with my body I had to be honest with myself and acknowledge that my relationship with my body has not always been a positive one.

As an adolescent I didn't treat my body well or with respect.I also strived throughout early womanhood to control it, mould it and use it in extreme ways, even the exercise I did was harsh, and almost punitive.Later on in womanhood throughout my childbearing years I felt immense loss and disappointment with my body, as I felt it failed me a number of times.However, when motherhood eventually came a 'new relationship' dawned, not immediately as it took time. I learnt more about myself ..I explored self nurturing and started to heal the parts of me I needed to in order to be a 'whole person'. The drawing I made as part of this page is symbolic of this and I felt compelled to use it for TEOAJ. This image of the african lady cradling a baby has always aroused a lot of emotion in me and alongside a poem called 'Oneness' from the Tao of motherhood by Vimala Mclure I had used it in a previous project of personal growth.I feel that now I have a sort of comfortable ease and desire to nurture my body and be gentle with it I choose Yoga and a walk over running and gymn work..if I do physically exert myself I make sure I'm fed and watered and rested! times of stress it is still all so easy for me to become 'disconnected' from my body.Disconnecting and not hearing what my body needs is such a weakness of mine, my enthusiasm , passion ,focus on a goal seems to release an obsessive trait that 'drives me' but also knocks me out of balance so easily and I need grounding! I think the curly roots in my page represent how important that grounding and securing myself to the earth is. A recent episode of poor health has reminded me I must listen to my body' ... look after 'her' put her needs first sometimes... 'she' must be 'sea worthy' and able to 'weather the storms of life'....she is my vessel the vessel in which my spirit resides and from which my life force flows..... and so 'My body is my vessel' very precious vessel.

Monday, 11 July 2011

TEOAJ Orientation week

This is the first ever Art journalling course I have ever taken...and wonderful Effy's is our amazing teacher....I am loving all Effy's guidance she has put so much time, energy, heart and soul into producing this course and it is fantastic.As always when I art I reflect on many things and this is expressed through what I create... sometimes it's pretty and sometimes it's not!.....That's why Wild Precious is a real haven to create and feel safe and supported to create what you wish or need to create... I am trying to play with the colour red in my journal as in my clustering from week one I found I'd lost my connection to the fire element a little and red is the colour i associate with it.

I love the layering process I am more able to take risks and try things out as heyyy it's 'layerable overable' if it doesn't quite go how you thought it would.This back cover isn't quite finished I will finish it throughout the course ....ERTE the sea goddess is one of my favourite stamps.Mermaids, fairies and magic are a big part of my imagination and creativity so had to be included.I collect shells, crystals, bits of sea weathered glass,leaves and wanted to used them in this adventure so added a few using some gel medium to secure them.I used some 'mica' scales in first page all shimmery and shiny, they were lovely to stick on with fingers......... yep plenty of sticky fingers doing this it was a scrumptious experience...

I tried my hand at drawing small lotus flowers in the centre of the cut outs,and wove the celtic prayer to the nine-fold elements around the inside of this first page....I felt the prayer accurately reflected the power of the elements in supporting my life force.Acknowledging this created a real sense of appreciation of nature....and a desire to simply soak up the suns rays,feel the earth beneath my bare feet, the breeze on my face, hear wind rustling through the trees, and see the colours in a more vibrant way outdoors mmmmmmm a lovely refreshing feeling.

Thankyou Effy xxxxx

Friday, 8 July 2011


I have slept and 'ping' after a single 'mucron tablet' I feel a little surge of energy...Thinking about the elements i find i'm attracted to my celtic heritage and i stumbled across this prayer that i resonated with around what i feel the elements mean to me so at last i feel i found something to write on my first page that satisfies my oneness with the elements.......

Ancient Celtic Prayer to the Nine-Fold Elements

I arise today
through strength of heaven,
light of sun,
radiance of moon,
splendour of fire,
speed of lightening,
swiftness of wind,
depth of sea,
stability of earth,
firmness of rock.

Memories to help this pass....

I am not well and i could spiral into a decline in my head very easily as this is the third time in the space of 4 weeks i've had a nasty virus and i'm worried about my health......i am anaemic and have a ferratin level of 1 so know that with some iron this is going to get better so the only way to deal with a situation i have little control over is to focus on something good this instance it is this photograph from our holidays...
The afternoon pictured was idyllic i said to Chella this was my favourite moment of our holiday...we sat and ate her with a sea view after an amazingly long walk from one fishing village to the next down the South coast of Tenerife near Los Gigantes...I swam in the sea prior to us sitting and relaxing watching the sun set here as we ate and drank...this remeinds me of everything that is wonderful about life and living...easygoing time walking eating simply and being with the person you love and know is your soulmate.....I need to remind myself right now as i am feeling sooo very very poorly there are moments i just feel i'm never ever going to get better again and it is making me sad perhaps i need to art a little, but energy levels are low so sleep is more needed i think.In the meantime i'm going to remember this day the warm energising sun the relaxed environment i am going to fill my heart and soul with as much goodness from that memory as I can.Love life and sooner or later it will love you back.

Thursday, 7 July 2011

Tribute to Uncle Eddie ...'Gilly'

I attended my uncle's funeral yesterday and it was a really touching positive experience...i've fond memories of uncle Eddies smiley face and easy going manner....I last saw him at the beginning of his journey suffering from Alzheimers...he still bore some resemblance to the Eddie i had known then but he had a ten year journey and passed away quietly with Barbara, Sharon and my mum last Monday evening.....there were over 200 people at the funeral he had touched so many lives in his shortened life what a privilege to have known Eddie

Sunday, 3 July 2011

EOAJournal Cover

Above is my progress so far with the cover of my Art journal for Elements...hope i've not 'jumped the gun' a bit but I have been desperate to try out 'Coffee and bubble wrap backgrounds' and to use some of my favourite stamps and handmade papers for Elements!

I have a real desire to have a sparkle in silver and gold throughout what I am creating for the course.I also am experimenting with layers of tissue paper here and stazon ink and pigment inks..i find the pigment inks bleed when i seal them with mod podge...unless i'm sparing and turn the tissue reverse side up with the ink actually underneath !

Yesterday Chel and wandered round the Food Fest in Leeds and some craft stalls...I found some paper that really drew my eye and i covered another of the recycled composition books into another journal...all bright an breezey just love the colours an design of the gift wrap and had to share it with you....

Both of my journals will have a band or strap around them to keep them closed i created one that was adjustable for the wrapping paper covered journal as i know they get pretty bulky as the pages are created!

Here's the start of my first page...inspired by Effy's video and incorporating the colours for the elements and the handprints...still more to add here but wanted to share my progress so far as next weeks blog entry will be a shorter one due to family committments...

Love to all at Wild Precious creative vibes to all in the studio xxxxxxxxxxxx

Saturday, 2 July 2011

Elements of Art journalling Course

Am working on the clustering activity and creating my semi prepped composition book for Elements of Art Journalling Mmmmmmmmmmmm started yesterday with a yoga session last night after finishing work..really needed that and felt the benefits straight away.Then this morning watched darlin' Effy's videos and guidance.I am sooo looking forward to this and will post my finished handprepped Art Journal later on this week.