Mmmm I like the feel of the earth under my feet and the colours of nature....and as I lay on the ground listening to some drumming at a local family festival ...feeling the sun on my face and the deep cool earth beneath my back I felt a gorgeous desire to simply melt into the earth ...my initial thoughts in respect of these feelings and the clustering from orientation week made me think of the statements 'I am the ground', 'I am at one with the earth' .However, with deeper reflection on the relationship I have had with my body I had to be honest with myself and acknowledge that my relationship with my body has not always been a positive one.
As an adolescent I didn't treat my body well or with respect.I also strived throughout early womanhood to control it, mould it and use it in extreme ways, even the exercise I did was harsh, and almost punitive.Later on in womanhood throughout my childbearing years I felt immense loss and disappointment with my body, as I felt it failed me a number of times.However, when motherhood eventually came a 'new relationship' dawned, not immediately as it took time. I learnt more about myself ..I explored self nurturing and started to heal the parts of me I needed to in order to be a 'whole person'. The drawing I made as part of this page is symbolic of this and I felt compelled to use it for TEOAJ. This image of the african lady cradling a baby has always aroused a lot of emotion in me and alongside a poem called 'Oneness' from the Tao of motherhood by Vimala Mclure I had used it in a previous project of personal growth.I feel that now I have a sort of comfortable ease and desire to nurture my body and be gentle with it I choose Yoga and a walk over running and gymn work..if I do physically exert myself I make sure I'm fed and watered and rested!...in times of stress it is still all so easy for me to become 'disconnected' from my body.Disconnecting and not hearing what my body needs is such a weakness of mine, my enthusiasm , passion ,focus on a goal seems to release an obsessive trait that 'drives me' but also knocks me out of balance so easily and I need grounding! I think the curly roots in my page represent how important that grounding and securing myself to the earth is. A recent episode of poor health has reminded me I must listen to my body' ... look after 'her' put her needs first sometimes... 'she' must be 'sea worthy' and able to 'weather the storms of life'....she is my vessel the vessel in which my spirit resides and from which my life force flows..... and so 'My body is my vessel' .....my very precious vessel.