Monday, 15 February 2016

Early morning riser...... I indulge myself with non sleep journalling when I've the luxury of a non working day.Its also a bit spesh to blog it....which only do if im feelin that way out and I am at present! I've a sleep journal that my luvli buddy Pauli got me and I journal in it when I feel i can 'afford to' i.e. have the time the next day to sleep in or just do not have to function for the outside world and think I'm working through something I'm ready tooooo...otherwise I lie and deep breathe, do a little imaginative relaxation and doze in and out of sleep jolted by the odd nightmare into a day of grogginess. I occasionally manage to hide this with a smile (although this is becoming less of the norm!) or just try to avoid the taxing connections with extroverts , drama and loudness saving all I have got for clients and getting the job done with perhaps the odd paracetamol for the perpetual  headache.I don't believe I'm the only one who has times like this in fact I know I'm not so its o.k. and is just a part of's also a welcome relief considering every night was like this 3-4 years ago with palpations,  panic lot if muscle aches and pains and a poorly thyroid..prior to that i spent a lot of years simply getting up and weeping whilst i journalled god i must have been so mentally distressed in those days ...I've come a long way and am eternally grateful for the mental resilience that has resulted from those experiences.What comes to mind is I'm missing kula it's like a little sanctuary and to be honest yoga elsewhere is fab but practicing at kula is like being 'home' it enables a connection to source , i only  achieve everynow and again Wednesday I'm booking Yin and i may even manage a sneaky class late p.m today although not over scheduling today day as haven't slept!.....after all I'm on holiday I can do these things...however i have to acknowledge it's proving hard to wind down completely..... am returning to mi journal to write a little ditty about a little darkness I've got in my heart...nice to share even better to move onwards n upwards so gotta sit in the 'darkness' for a bit 'love me and my sadness and my scars and my sweetness and the opportunity to just be'....

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