keep on ...keep on..

Yep keep on going... with surrender sitting very sweetly behind my eyes...if i surrender to my brain fog i'm a little scared i may never emerge again..My health is up and down like a yo yo and definitley gets worse with tiredness and stressors...i'm not sure where i am going from here and after another mini emotional melt down on friday i'm trying to pick up the pieces, brave taking a tiny dose of my thyroxine (which gives me the most unbearable pressure headaches at around day 3)cos without it i seem to dip massively now although with it i'm feeling aggitated and as if my head is going to explode ... so i'm waiting on my 'whoo whoo' procedure on Tuesday and have to surrender to more sick time just knowing i'm not doing myself, or others any favours dragging myself into work when i'm like this...caring for others needs when i'm so terribly needy myself is not working anymore...what is going on inside my body i do not know and i'm a little frightened this is it... this is how life is going to be for me forever...i've reseached thyroid probs a little, ordered a book so as to get some explanations for these bizarre mood swings and dips in energy levels..clutching at straws and hopeful that things will improve.